Blog 7

The movie I'm going to review is The Secret Life of Bee's. The trailers for this movie clearly indicated that is was going to be about women, race and the culture of America in the 1970's. I never have time to go to the movies so I waited until it was available to rent and when I had time to watch it. I just watched it in Feb of 09 and I must say I was very happy with what I watched. The women showed a close bond in sisterhood and friendship. When a young white girl showed up asking for help, she got more than she could have ever imagined. The movie also displayed the difficulties that a father had as a single parent. Although the fathers issues ran much deeper than just gender, he ultimately made the best decision for his daughter. The Secret Life of Bee's is one of the best movies about gender and race that I have ever scene.

Reading Response

FIFE
There were many chapters and some very important topics covered in these readings. I was surprised to learn in Chapter 13 that singles mothers and women in general are the one's who abuse children more than men. But as I thought about it I wondered if maybe one of the reasons women are the most abusive is also because women are the primary caretakers and disciplinarians with children. Women who were abused as children or are dominated in their partnership may project their animosity on to their children. I'm not trying to make excuses, but it was just a way for to help me process why women would are more commonly abusive to their children.

Chapter 14
It's great that more women are embracing the idea that they can enjoy sex and be equal in the bedroom with their husbands, it was no surprise to learn that equality stays in the bedroom. I also agree that a fathers role in children's lives are far too often downplayed. As a culture, America needs to embrace the idea that men are equally capable of parenting their children as women. Parents are setting an example to their children and when there is an unequal distribution in parenting and domestic responsibilities then children are only learning that inequality is normal and will possibly reinforce the cycle in their relationships.

Chapter 15
My mom came from a generation where sex was feared. There were consequences if she had sex and therefore she never allowed herself to enjoy it. My mom who is now 60 and feels that being divorced has liberated her from her sexual responsibilities. But my mom is also pleased that I grew up in a different time, where sex education and birth control were freely talked about. But my mom cannot truly understand how I can be married, unemployed, a mother and a feminist. But what is disturbing is that more stay at home moms are not. That the image of feminism is still considered to be ugly and the "man haters club". This is also the reason why I consider myself a "humanist" because I believe the world incorporates all people not just an idealized gender.

Chapter 16
Addressing the double standard that many straight women and some gay women have about sexuality is a good attempt to tell women that these are some issues that need to be cleared before feminism can start to accomplish anymore. The unity and acceptance between gay women and straight women alone would be a great accomplishment. I have several gay friends that have told me how unusual it is for a straight woman to like me to have such close relationships with gay women. I don't find it unusual because all my friends are people first. I accept people for their moral character and mutual compatibility with my personality. Teaching my daughter how to be a friend that is loving and accepting starts with setting an example.

Chapter 17
This chapter really hits close to home for me and my past ideas of what feminism was. I thought that to be a feminist I would have to reject the idea of having a meaningful relationship with a man. I never considered the idea of involving my partner with my political ideas of feminism. But now my husband and I can talk politics, military, religion and not fear being dominated when one of us disagrees on a ideology. We have learned to listen reason and when necessary, accept each other for who we are. This type of relationship is becoming more popular, but in the 90's it sounded absurd and impossible. This shows how feminism has grown and love is possible.

Chapter 18
It's too bad that Hook waited to address religion until the last chapter. I strongly agree that Christianity and Patriarchal religions is the root of gender inequality. Hooks mentioned that with new translations of the bible more people are embracing the idea that religion could incorporate feminism. The biggest challenge for this integration is the fundamental Christian thinkers. Hopefully this is another aspect of feminism that will gradually change as future generations adopt more feminist thinking.

The F word
I got married in my late 20's and when our daughter was born I really felt the inequality and power shift. I stopped working and returned to school full time. My husband made all the money and I felt almost in debt to him for supporting me. Over the years I have made and demanded many changes in our marriage. One thing I have learned is that the inequality in my marriage happens primarily because I let it happen. But I know this isn't true for every woman. After college I plan to enter the work force again and like many other women, I worry about compromising quality time with my daughter. I have spoken to other moms and will take a lot of good advice, like lunch dates at my daughters school. Minimal after school activities, and forcing my husband to be a very pro-active parent.